Meaningful Text Conversation with Mom

My friend Heather (who also does not want kids) sent me a message today. It was a text conversation she had with her mom:

Mom: "How'd the unpacking going?"

Me: "Hahahahaha"

Mom: "Oh."

Me: "They left me with the kids as soon as I got here yesterday. Then Britt had her interview today and got very lost. Twice. I was so irritable by the time she got back."

Mom: "Meh heh."

Me: "Exactly."

Mom: "Well. Um. Yeah."

Me: "And Em is on her 6th pair of panties. And at 2:30 this morning Rayden was freezing so I put him in bed with me and right away his diaper leaked. 'Slept' on the couch."

Mom: "Welcome to Motherhood 101."

Me: "I tried throwing myself fown the stairs but then I remembered abstinence works just as well."

Mom: "What?!? No kids in your future??? Shocker."

Me: "Hate to break it to ya, Mom."

Mom: "It's ok. At least you will have your sanity."

Me: "That might be a premature statement. They may be shipping me home in a straight jacket manana."

Mom: "Ohh. I hope it's a pretty jacket with shiney buckles. That would be cool?"

Me: "At least let me be insane in style. I hear that military-inspired jackets are popular again this season."

Mom: "Awesome. You can accessorize and dress them up or down. Gotta look at the bright side!"

Me: "A positive mental patient. I like it!"

Mom: "Yes! Yes! Yes!"